A couple of weeks ago while I was teaching Bible study, I started talking about the power of the Holy Spirit. I was more talking than anything, not really teaching, but it struck a cord with a couple of the people in the class. I had no idea what had happened until this week when I showed up to teach and this one lady, Sandy, started mentioning exactly how much it meant to her and how it had affected her. I was kind of stunned, largely because I couldn’t remember exactly what it was I said, but also because I don’t expect to make that kind of impact on people.
For a long time I lived with the misguided notion that there was something earth-shakingly important about my existence. I thought very highly of myself, to the point that in many instances I was a complete asshat. In the last six to eight months those ideas about myself have started to melt, which isn’t to say that I don’t think of myself as important just not world shaking important.
I stopped going to Pentecostal churches because I couldn’t find life in them. There’s a lot of pain wrapped up in the part of my life when I was going to to them and as a result I’m not a big fan of discussions about the Holy Spirit. If you want to talk theology with me I’ll be more than happy to discuss the theological concepts surrounding the Spirit, but if you want to discuss life application I’m going to exit that conversation pretty quick.
All of this is why it seems so strange to me that I said anything at that bible study that was of significance – especially about the Spirit. I’m just a guy that does a little prep work and talks about the bible – Leviticus at the moment. I don’t expect the Spirit to do anything these days. Yet on this day, a day when I was actually hurting from a rough day and night before, God injects God’s-self into my words and makes a dramatic impact on someone’s life. No matter how much I may want to avoid discussing life application of the Spirit, the Spirit still applies to my life.
It’s a heavy thing to realize that no matter what you’ve done or are going to do, God is still working in your life. You cannot run from God, but you can hide in Him and it is my hope that I attempt the latter more often than the former.